![]() A recurring theme amongst new writers is “How do you start a story?”. For some people this is no problem. An idea pops into their head, they sit down at the place they do their writing and off they go. 80 to 100 thousand words later they have the first draft of their book completed. But for others it doesn’t work that way. For others, getting started is the difficult bit. Sometimes they have an idea in their head, but sometimes they don’t. They just want to write, but how do they get going? ![]() Which is what this week’s blog is about. How to start your writing when you haven’t had that spark of inspiration to set you on your way. Even I need somewhere to start, so I’m going to start with “prompt phrases”. This is simply taking a few words that already exist and then continuing on from where they leave off. I’ll give you an example. “The door opened and …” continue writing from there. Where the writer goes from there is entirely up to them. It may end up as a short paragraph that leads nowhere, or it may end up on the shortlist for the Booker prize. Who knows? But great work always has a starting point and that could be it. ![]() So, here are a few more prompts for you to think about.
It may be that by the time you stop writing, you will actually be able to remove those prompt words and you will still be left with something that stands up on its own. The great thing is that you can use the same prompts over and over again, just continuing with a slightly different set of words to create something entirely new. You can even create your own prompts or take the opening words from favourite books and use those to inspire your own work. ![]() “Call me Ishmael” may have started Moby Dick, but it didn’t have to. There could have been a million different stories that emanated from those three words. And, providing you remove “Call me Ismael” from the starting sentence, no one will ever know you used it. If you search “writing prompts” on the internet you will come up with hundreds of articles with thousands more suggestions, some of which may be better than mine. The point about those prompts isn’t that they will lead the writer directly to a story. But they may give the writer a character, a location, a time, an incident or something else that then takes the writer to a story. It’s a bit like wanting to get to a certain street, but you don’t know where that street is. So you stop someone and ask for directions, or you go into a shop to do the same. That then gets you to the street where you want to be. The prompt phrase is the person you ask for directions. (For younger readers, people used to do that before we all had phones with maps on). ![]() Then there is the “I remember” technique. Write the words “I remember” then follow it with three sentences. For example: I remember I went to the pub last week. Harry was there. We talked about football for a long time.” At the end of that you can remove “I remember” and you’ll be left with “I went to the pub last week. Harry was there” etc. Where you then take that is where the story will lead you. It may not lead anywhere, and you may abandon it. But there are many exciting and unexpected possibilities that can emerge from a trip to the pub. ![]() One writer I know gets his inspiration from his favourite songs. He uses them to tap into his memories and emotions and they then give him a starting point for a story. Pick out a favourite song and listen to it. But while you are listening, ask yourself some questions and jot the answers down.
You might want to listen to the song several times to get more answers or to trigger fresh memories or additional questions. Once you have that, you can start to assemble the words into sentences. Some words you may use several times and some you may not use at all. They’re your words: do with them what you please. But when you’ve written those sentences, don’t stop. Keep writing, perhaps taking one sentence and writing a second, related sentence, much as you did with the “I remember” technique discussed above. ![]() You can do that with other media as well. A painting, a sculpture, a book, a poem, a TV show, a film, or a play. All of them have etched themselves into your memory for a reason and those reasons can be your source of inspiration. Photographs, like music, are another good source of inspiration. We all have favourite photos, but you might want to dig out your albums and start looking at the ones you took years ago. Or, for our younger readers, access your cloud storage to find your old photos. Use the same techniques as suggested for listening to music. ![]() Then there’s TV, radio or your news feed on the internet. The basic idea is the same for all three. Turn on your TV or radio or select your news feed on the internet (you might also use social media channels). Make a note of the first thing you see, hear or read. Don’t go searching for ones that may be more interesting. That becomes artificial and removes the spontaneity that is crucial for creativity. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a news story, it could be an advert, it could be someone discussing buying a house or selling an antique. Just write it down. Then, using the techniques discussed earlier, elaborate on what you have written. Try to reach around 500 words before you stop. Then imagine a character who is involved in whatever you have written and start to describe them. Some of things you might want to include are:
Combining the first 500 words with the character description should allow you to build even more. For example, the first character may have friends, an enemy, a lover, a helper and so on. How do these characters know each other? How did they meet? How is each one connected to the original 500 words? ![]() The final suggestion I have for getting started with your writing is the “what if” question. Viewers of “The Big Bang Theory” may remember the episode in which the character of Sheldon Cooper imagines what The Hulk would be like if he was made for different materials, eg what if The Hulk was made of sponge? This is the same sort of thing. So, what if the old lady I saw on the bus yesterday is actually a serial poisoner?” So, you start writing “I saw an old lady on the bus today. She looked so sweet and innocent, but she had a deadly secret. ![]() To change it into a third person narrative the sentence is started with “The old lady was sitting on a bus. She looked so sweet and innocent ….” So, here are some more “what if” ideas for you to play around with.
If you have particular interests or concerns (poverty, social justice, climate change, animal welfare, health, wealth etc), they could be turned into some excellent “what ifs”. There are pretty much an infinite number of “what ifs” that it’s possible to come up with. Spend some time generating a few (without answering the questions) then pick out just one to focus on and start writing. You never know where it might lead you. ![]() Turning what you have written into a story is just a matter of technique. Short story writer E M Forster describes a story as “‘a narrative of events arranged in their time-sequence’ and a plot as "also a narrative of events, the emphasis falling on causality." To put that into context “The puppy whined piteously.” is a story. “The puppy whined piteously because it was hungry” is a plot. Turning that simple line about the puppy into a longer plot is matter of asking some questions and then answering them, but again focusing on causality.
Try to think of as many questions as you can. You may not answer them all, but the more you have the greater the possible plot permutations can have. None of the ideas discussed here are a universal panacea. Whatever you start out with may not lead anywhere. But it doesn’t have to lead anywhere every time. All it needs to do is get you writing. ![]() Hold onto whatever you have created (I still have a box file from the days when I still used pen and paper) and go back and revisit these jottings from time to time. Perhaps they’ll provide fresh inspiration. But, importantly, just because one prompt didn’t lead anywhere, it doesn’t mean that the next one won’t. Ultimately writing is about imagination and these prompts are designed to stimulate your imagination. The rest is down to perseverance. And if you have neither an imagination nor perseverance, you aren’t a writer. You may be thinking “That’s all fine, but this is all about the here and now. I write fantasy/sci-fi/horror/westerns etc and those prompts don’t help me. Wrong. There is nothing that those prompts produce that can’t be transposed into any genre. Those genres are just a set of tropes that tell the reader what sort of book they are reading. The rest of it can exist in any time period or location – real or imagined. To think otherwise is to reveal a lack of imagination. ![]() To use the example of the puppy, discussed above, it could live in Middle Earth, on the planet Gargelfarch or in a Native American tipi in 1879. It doesn’t even have to be the young produced by a dog. It could be a baby that has turned into a werewolf puppy and it’s howling because it can’t get out of its cradle to find a leg on which to chew. (Editor’s note: That idea is now copyright, Selfishgenie Publishing 2021). All writing should be fun and fun comes from playing. Anyone who has ever studied the processes involved in creativity and innovation will know that “play” is a big part of it. What this blog is about, really, is playing with words. It serves two purposes. The first is you learn by doing it. The second is that the ideas generated through this sort of play can be turned into something useable. It won’t happen every time, but it will happen. If you have enjoyed this blog or found it informative you may like to sign-up to our newsletter. Just click the button below.
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![]() One of the most asked questions of authors (after the most stupid question in the world - “Have I read anything by you?”) is “Where do you get your ideas from?” Some authors, especially those who write about the field in which they work, such as crime or medical, have an easy answer to that. They’ve either seen it or done it and are just winding it into their plot for the entertainment of their readers. But some authors base their fiction on their own real-life experiences outside of their profession. After all, most of us have fallen in love, been on a journey or had a traumatic experience, so all we are doing is turning it into fiction and perhaps adding a bit more pizzaz to it. For many, however, it is a slightly harder question to answer. ![]() “It just popped into my head.” Sounds a bit lame, but that is really what happens for them. Other authors take a more structured approach and maybe do a bit of brain storming, writing words onto post-it notes and sticking them on the wall to see what jumps out at them. Or using writing prompts to get them going, which (spoiler alert) I’ll be covering in another blog next week. Others may watch TV or a film, or perhaps read a book and then think “That was pretty good, but it would have been so much better if the author had …” and then they write the same book their way. That isn’t plagiarism, by the way. At worst it is inspired imitation. There are several books I’d re-write differently if I had the time and if I do it well you probably wouldn’t recognise the original. ![]() Some authors like to visualise things before they write them. For example, you might draw a picture of a house. You might then think about who lives in a house like that. Then you might think what could happen to those people that would upset their lives. Before you know it, you have both characters and a plot. I read about one quite well-known author (I’m sorry but I can’t remember his name) who drew each location he included in his plot so that he could get a “feel” for it. It also helped him to know where everything was in relation to other parts of the story. Others take their inspiration from life and use things they’ve heard or seen at work, in the street, at parties or wherever and then bulk them out until they become fully fledged stories. As an author I have used that latter approach. The fact is, no matter what method you use to start the story, the important thing is that it holds together as a plot and the characters are believable. ![]() One of our authors came across some tape recordings his father had made for The National Army Museum, which recounted his experiences in the Army. It was for a project the museum was running at the time to capture the memories of old soldiers before they died and the stories were lost forever. He listened to his father’s voice and his first thought was to turn those stories into a book about his father, a mini-biography if you like. To do that he had to do a considerable amount of research about the commandos, their tactics and their battles so he could provide readers with the necessary background information to support and elaborate on his father’s words. But at the end of the process, when the book had been published (“A Commando’s Story” if you want to read it), the author realised he had all the material necessary to support an entire series of fictional stories set around the commandos of World War II. And so, the Carter’s Commandos series was born. One real-life story, told as an act of love and respect, turned into three years of work and six books (and still counting). "we all take inspiration from the work of others" There’s no doubt that we all take inspiration from the work of others. When it comes to sci-fi and fantasy, for example, there is little in real life that can provide the basis for a plot. Actually, that isn’t correct. Pretty much any story can be transferred into a mythical land or outer space or a dystopian future. It just requires the imagination to do it and that’s what most authors are good at: having a vivid imagination. It is said that there are only seven basic plots. All the author does to vary that is to change the context in which the story is set and add the characters. This idea was put forward by author and journalist Christopher Booker in his 2004 book, The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories. He was also a co-founder of the satirical magazine Private Eye. So, what are those plots? ![]() The first is overcoming a monster. That is the basis for a lot of horror, of course, but also a lot of fantasy and sci-fi. Also, within the sci-fi genre, overcoming a monster might include combatting a plague of some sort. Fans of Michael Chrichton will be familiar with the concept. However, it is often used by action-adventure novelists. James Bond has to overcome many monsters in his various adventures. It’s just that the monsters have names like Goldfinger, Blofeld, SMERSH or SPECTRE. The monster to be overcome can be any enemy, though they usually transcend just being “bad” to being completely evil. Peter Benchley's "Jaws" is also a story about overcoming a monster. Rags to riches. This was a popular theme during the Victorian era, with authors such as Dickens (it’s the basic plot for Oliver Twist) and also the fairy stories Cinderella and Aladdin), but it is still seen today, but more often in film. Brewster’s Millions, The Million Pound (or Dollar) Bank Note are typical, but there are many others. An important plot point in the rags to riches story is that the protagonist comes close to losing, or actually loses, their newfound wealth at some point and has to overcome adversity to gain it back. ![]() The quest. This is popular with fantasy novelists, but in sci-fi it is seen in the theme of space exploration and even historical fiction (Treasure Island is a quest). The Star Trek series is a typical quest, but sometimes also has to overcome a monster. Sometimes the quest takes a more abstract form. Jane Austen wrote a quest novel. After all, isn’t Elizabeth Bennet, in looking for a husband in Pride and Prejudice, embarking on a quest? Criminal investigations tend to use a lot of questing in order to identify the criminal(s), as does sci-fi that is seeking an antidote for a plague or a cure for a disease. Voyage and return. Well, if that isn’t The Hobbit, what is? It’s also Gulliver’s Travels and a whole lot more. The important thing about this plot and, also, the quest is that the protagonist learns something important along the way, usually about themselves. Bilbo Baggins, for example, finds out he is much braver and more resourceful than he thought. ![]() Comedy. Pretty much any of the above plots can also be turned into a comedy, so I don’t fully buy it as a “plot” in its own right. However, if you set out to write a comedy it is important to be able to convey the humour. Far too many books we’ve read that are billed as comedies just aren’t funny. More than one commentator has said that Shakespeare’s comedies are less than funny. But maybe 16th and 17th century audiences understood the jokes better. Tragedy. The same applies to tragedy as it does for comedy, really. Any of the above plots can be turned into a tragedy by killing off either the protagonist, the protagonist’s love interest (if there is one) or their family. Hubris forms a great plot point in tragedy as it brings people down to earth with a bump. Pride cometh before a fall; how the mighty are fallen (and all that)! A book by Christopher Moore, called “Fool” turns the tragedy of King Lear into a comedy quite successfully, thus spinning the plot on its head ![]() Rebirth. An interesting one this, because it isn’t a physical rebirth, it is usually a metaphorical one, though Frankenstein could be seen as a story of rebirth in a more literal sense. Like the quest and the voyage and return, it is about the character learning something and changing along the way, preferably for the better. However, a critical part of the rebirth plot is that the protagonist is either taken to the brink of death by their experience, or to the depths of despair. Only from those depths can rebirth take place. Much of religious fiction is about rebirth, as are stories that include battles with alcohol or drug addiction and battles with mental health. It is another important plot point that the protagonist, once reborn, is stronger in some way and not necessarily in physical terms. Of course, any two, or even three of those plots can be combined to create a single plot and this happens a lot in literature. So, seven basic plots, but millions of books that use those same seven. You wouldn’t think it possible, would you? "some people don’t agree with that concept " Of course, some people don’t agree with that concept and it has been much debated in the corridors of literary academia. There have been some authorities that have claimed both lower and higher figures. But all agree that the number of basic plots is finite and, more importantly, it’s quite a low number. There is also another rule in this plotting guide that not many people know they are using, but they use it anyway. It’s the rule of three. ![]() So, it’s the third in a series of events that proves to be the decisive one. The third battle that wins the war, the third attempt at romance that leads to happy ever after, etc. This is most literally seen in fairy stories such as Goldilocks, where it is the third of the things that she tries in the three bears’ house that’s the one that’s just right. But the same principle applies in many different plots. For example, it takes three attempts (two failed or only partially successful) for the protagonist to achieve their ultimate goal. Or three events are cumulative in order to provide a final outcome. This is common in detective literature, where the significance of different clues add together to identify the criminal. The criminal isn’t just a left handed man, he is a left handed man who limps and also wears a monocle. Are you someone who uses the rule of three without realising that you were actually obeying a rule? Of course, you don’t have to obey that rule, but it is surprising how many authors do adhere to these conventions. ![]() I don’t think many authors pay conscious attention to which of the seven plots they are using when they write their books. It doesn’t actually need a conscious decision. The plot may even start off using one of the plots structures and change direction later. For example, a quest might turn into a voyage and return or a rebirth. A plot may start off being a comedy but become tragic along the way and it may even return to being a comedy by the end. What is important, however, is that whatever plot(s) you use, they tell the story the way you wanted to tell it, whether it was inspired by something heard at a bus stop or by the life story of a relative, or even as a consequence of personal experience. Enjoy your writing, but don’t over-think it. If you have enjoyed this blog or found it informative, why not make sure you don't miss future editions, by signing up to our newsletter. For example, we'll send you a reminder about the one we're publishing next week relating to the use of writing prompts to generate story ideas. Just click the button below. ![]() By way of a change, which some people think is as good as a rest, this week’s blog takes the form of a quiz. It’s literary based, so the better read amongst you will stand the best chance of getting the answers right. Firstly, I’d better manage your expectations.
FAQs Q. What do I get for winning? A. A warm glow for being right. So, all you get for your trouble is the nice warm feeling of being right. By all means post your score in the comments section if you want to show off – but there’s still no prize for the highest score. ![]() Cheat if you want to and look up the answers, but you’ll gain nothing from it and you’ll lose your self-respect for having cheated. There are 10 questions, some of which are worth more points than others and there are also also bonus points available for some questions. All the answers may be found at the end. So, let’s get started. 1. Which literary figure once said of the Dickens novel “The Old Curiosity Shop” “One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing.” (2 points) ![]() 2. What pseudonym does J K Rowling use to write her Cormoran Strike detective series? (1 point) 3. In what country is the C S Forester book “The African Queen” set? (2 points) 4. In the Nevil Shute book “A Town Like Alice” who, or what, is Alice? (1 point) 5. Who writes the books that feature the police officer Inspector Frost? (1 point) ![]() 6. Which well-known author wrote “For Esme – With Love and Squalor” (2 points) Clue: He’s mainly known for one book. 7. In what county in Ireland was poet William Butler Yates born? (2 points) 8. In the Dickens novel “A Tale Of Two Cities”, which character says the words “’Tis a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done before?” (2 points) 9. In what decade was “To Kill A Mockingbird” first published? (2 points) 10. Which William Shakespeare play is currently the most often performed? (2 points) 1. Oscar Wilde (2 pts) 2. Robert Galbraith (1 point). 3. German East Africa, now part of Tanzania (1 point for knowing the earlier name, 1 point for knowing the current name). 4. The town of Alice Springs in Australia. (1 point). 5. R D Wingfield (1 point if you are British, 2 points if you are any other nationality) 6. J D Salinger – yes, he wrote more than just “Catcher In The Rye”. (2 points) ![]() 7. County Dublin (Sandymount). (2 points if you aren’t Irish, 1 point if you are Irish and 0 points if you live in Sligo, because he wasn’t born there even if you did misappropriate his name to nickname your county “Yates Country”). 8. None of them. (2 points if you knew that and an extra point for knowing that they are written after Sydney Carton has been guillotined, as the epitaph that he might have written for himself, had he been given pen and paper while in prison). Don’t believe me? Read the book again! (or at least read the ending again) 9. The 1960s. (2 points, 1 bonus point for knowing its year of publication was 1960, 0 points for the decade in which it was set, which was the 1930s) 10. A Midsummer Night’s Dream (period 2011 to the present) (2 points. 1 point for Romeo and Juliet as that is the one that most Brits know (about 51% of those who have read or seen a Shakespeare play or film)) Maximum possible score 21 points. We think anything over 15 is a good score.
Did you enjoy that? If so, why not share the link with your writing and reading friends? And if you would like to keep up with our future blogs and general publishing news from Selfishgenie, why not subscribe to our newsletter. Just click the button. A Comedy Of Horror ![]() I have been a fan of Caimh (pronounced Keeve) McDonnell’s books since I first stumbled across one about three years ago, so this one took me a little bit by surprise. In a good way, I hasten to add. His earlier works were comedy crime capers set in Dublin, with one of the main characters then relocating to New York, to establish a new ensemble of characters. ‘The Stranger Times’ is a comedy Gothic horror caper, if you can imagine such a thing. If you can’t imagine that, don’t worry, because Caimh McDonnell can. The use of the definite article in the title isn’t a misprint on my part (or Caimh's), because The Stranger Times is a newspaper. ![]() Well, more of a communications channel for the sad, the bad and the mad really, as most of the stuff they publish is hardly “news” unless you are of the tin foil hat persuasion or you believe you are the reincarnation of Cleopatra. That is until Hannah arrives on the scene. Not that she is the cause of the horror, far from it. But the horror story starts when she arrives, coincidentally. Up until now Caimh has set his books either in Dublin or New York (with an excursion to an unnamed American desert location for one title). For this book, however, he has relocated to Manchester. Perhaps that city had more of an air of Gothic Horror about it than Dublin or New York, or maybe Caimh had just visited the city. Who knows? The story is set around two sets of mythical people, the “Founders” and the “Folk”. I can’t tell you any more than that without giving away too much of the plot. Let me just say that one of those two groups are the good guys and the other are the bad guys, with humanity stuck in the middle and paying the price. ![]() But, to cause confusion, you could be married to a member of the Founders or the Folk and not even know it. Hannah is what might be called a ‘trophy wife’ who lived in the lap of luxury until she could put up with her husband’s infidelity no longer, at which point she set fire to his house (accidentally, according to her). Now in need of money to live on, Hannah has to get a job and lacking any discernible skill set, the only place that will take her on is The Stranger Times. This introduces us to the lunatic Editor, Vincent Banecroft and the collection of misfits he has for staff. The only apparently sane person working for the newspaper (until Hannah’s arrival) is Grace, the office manager and even she has her quirks. ![]() Two unexplained deaths, one written off as a suicide, gives Banecroft the sniff of a story and his team then set out to track it down. The rest of the book tells us how they go about it and what happens to them when they get on the wrong side of the wrong person (or maybe entity is a better word). As with all of Caimh’s books that I have read, this one is an entertaining, if undemanding, read. It moves along at a nice pace, the language is user friendly, the characters interesting and the plot is believable, if you are the sort of person who is a fan of the horror genre in the first place. This all makes the book ideal poolside fare if you are planning a holiday this year (You should be so lucky). In terms of the horror content, it isn’t going to keep you awake at night and in terms the comedy content it is probably best to call it amusing rather than rib tickling, which is why I have given it 4 stars rather than 5. But, for a light summer’s read, I recommend “The Stranger Times” by Caimh McDonnell and if you would like to find out more about it, just click on the cover image at the top of the blog. If you have enjoyed this blog and would like to be alerted when the next one is posted, just sign up to our newsletter, which will also keep you abreast of our new titles and our free offers. Spoiler alert, next week's blog is going to be a fiendishly difficult literary quiz. Would you like to be a guest reviewer for the Selfishgenie Publishing blog? Contact us with details of the book you'd like to review. Just three rules:
![]() Monday 19th July is “Freedom Day” for us Brits as the final (?) Covid restrictions are lifted so we can return to “normal” once again. OK, not quite all restrictions; there are still plenty of confusing rules about foreign travel and what you need to do in terms of testing and self-isolation, but aside from that, the rules are being lifted. I put ‘normal’ in quotes because what is normal for me may not be normal for you and vice versa. That’s the problem with normal – it isn’t normal for everyone. And with some confusion around what we should be doing, what we can legally do and what the government is advising us to do it is likely that there are going to be many versions of ‘normal’. ![]() I’m not going to comment on the wisdom of the decision to lift restrictions as I’m not an expert in virology or the management of pandemics. I understand the arguments for and against, but that doesn’t mean I’m best placed to judge whatever decisions have been reached. I know there are economic benefits to be gained from the decision and I know there are health risks. I’m a big boy now and capable of managing the risks for myself, so I don’t need the government to treat me like a baby and tell me what to do all the time. If I don’t know by now what sensible behaviour is in relation to this virus, then it’s unlikely that I ever will. But I also wish that the same could be said of everyone. ![]() But this moment provides an opportunity to reflect on how my life has been affected over the past 18 months and how it has changed – if at all. It is a strange thing about humans, but as soon as you tell us we can’t do something, we all want to do that very thing. I have had conversations with people who complained about not being allowed to go to a pub, knowing full well that they hadn’t set foot inside a pub for years. The same applied to people who hadn’t set foot inside a gym for years (if ever) as well. When I explained to one acquaintance that it was possible to exercise in your own home, I was told it wasn’t the same as there was no one there to motivate you. ![]() I have no idea what gyms she went to (none I suspect), but I have never been to a gym where anyone ever came along and tried to motivate me. If you attend classes with a fitness trainer at the front, that is different. But if you go to a gym just to use the equipment then you are very much on your own, motivation-wise. Personally, I found Joe Wicks quite capable of motivating me while I remained in my own living room. In terms of my own life, very little changed. I’m an author. I spend hours everyday in my office (my wife calls it the ‘front bedroom’) tapping away on a keyboard. That didn’t change. I also spend a lot of time reading, for pleasure and for research. That also didn’t change. I am also a publisher, so I spend a lot of time reading and editing the work of other authors and marketing our books. That, too, didn’t change. So, on 19th July, a lot of my life isn’t going to change back to what it was before, because it didn’t change when the pandemic started anyway. ![]() I realise that I’m not typical of the great British public. Many people’s lives changed in big ways during the pandemic and they will continue to feel the impact of those changes for a long time after the 19th. For some it provided opportunities, for others it imposed restrictions. For some it provided a stimulus for change and for others it placed them in a sort of prison and for some it meant the tragic loss of a loved one. We all live different lives and, consequently, we were all affected in different ways. There were things I missed in my life. There were the big, family things, like not being able to visit my family and see my grandchildren. Some were able to come and stand outside the front door while we exchanged news, but you would hardly call that a ‘family get-together’. It has made me more determined to see them more frequently. I’m not sure if that is good news for them or not. I missed not being able to play golf for several months at a stretch. I’m not a very good golfer, but it forms an important part of my social life. Not being able to go around a golf course and enjoy the sort of chit-chat that golfers indulge in left a bigger hole in my life than I expected. Even on the wet, cold days, when I wouldn’t normally have played, I found myself staring wistfully out of the window wishing I could go out and play a few holes in good company. ![]() I missed not being able to go to watch my local rugby team play. For 8 months of the year my weekends are dominated by the sport and not being able to go along to Franklins Gardens to watch Northampton Saints play was, perhaps, the largest inconvenience after not being able to see my family. It was even worse when the clubs weren’t even allowed to play the sport and we had to make do with watching re-runs of previous seasons’ games on YouTube. Sport actually forced a change in my behaviour. When the rugby re-started, but fans couldn’t attend matches, I finally bit the bullet and took out a subscription with a streaming service so that I could follow my team’s progress live on TV. Having done that, I had to get value for my money, so I watched a whole load of other matches being contested by rival clubs. So I’m now watching far more rugby than ever before. Well, not at the moment because the club season has ended, but I’ll be maintaining my subscription for the new season so my weekends will now be even more dominated by rugby. ![]() Last year we had to cancel three holidays, one to Prague, one to Spain and one to Croatia. Only one of those was I really disappointed about, because the Spain trip was to visit my sister, who lives there. I don’t see a great deal of her because of the distance, so to have that taken away was a bit emotional. But the other two trips I felt no sense of loss over. They were for pleasure – a nice break from routine – but they held no emotional context so there was no sense of loss. We’ll head off there at some point, when we get around to it, but this year we’re actually booked to go somewhere else and hopefully we’ll be allowed to do so. But if we aren’t, it won’t be a tragedy. Besides, even if we have to self-isolate on our return, that won't be a big deal (see above for reasons why). ![]() To the outsider, perhaps to you, it may make you think that my life is boring. Well, for you it may be, but for me it has all I want and need. I am a man of simple pleasures. I have my work, I can see my family, I can play golf and I will be able to watch rugby when the new season starts. My health is pretty good (for my age) and I’ve had both my jabs, so I’m quite well protected against Covid unless a jab resistant variant turns up (which is a possibility). All being well we will be able to travel abroad this year. I don’t need anything more than that. Not really. If you have enjoyed this blog or found it informative, or you want to keep up with our future publications, just click the button below to sign up for our newsletter. Go on - you know you want to! Has Some Of Our Technology Been Predicted By Clairvoyants?![]() As a Sci-Fi author with a background in technology (OK, I’ll own up, it was the technology of the 60s and 70s), I get rather annoyed when claims are made that someone must have been a clairvoyant, because they foresaw such and such a technological development. Perhaps they weren’t a clairvoyant, perhaps they were just (a) observant and/or (b) imaginative. The problem for those people was that they could think creatively and imaginatively, but they didn’t have the technology available to turn their creativity into a reality. I’ll give you an example. Jules Verne published his book “The First Men In The Moon” in 1901, which featured space travel. So, was he a clairvoyant, or was he just able to imagine rocket ships? ![]() The technology which enabled space travel didn’t start development until the late 1930s and didn’t become a reality until the 1940s. After that it accelerated to the point where humankind really did go to the Moon and continues to travel into space to this day. Was Verne a clairvoyant? No. he just knew that if flight was possible, it must surely follow that man would eventually find a way to travel outside the Earth’s atmosphere. Gas filled and hot air balloons had been around since 1783. Gliders had been around since George Cayley flew the first in 1853 and the Wright brothers’ maiden flight, lasting 3 seconds, took place in 1903. So lots of people were thinking about flight and to what it might lead. Mother Shipton is often credited with being a clairvoyant or seer for some of the things she “predicted”. ![]() For those of you that don’t know of her, Mother Shipton was a witch, wise woman, seer, clairvoyant, all or none of those things who lived in Yorkshire (or may be entirely fictional) from the late 15th to the mid 16th centuries. She is credited with making many predictions. The first thing to know is that the first book of her predictions, the only evidence that they were ever made, didn’t appear until 1641, 80 years after her death and some of the language used is incorrect for her lifetime, using words that weren’t coined until later. Even the picture used to accompany this blog is a fake. The hat isn’t from the Tudor period, it is much later. This book “predicted” events that took place either during Mother Shipton’s lifetime or after her death but before the book was published. One prediction that is claimed for her was the dissolution of the monasteries, which started in 1531and the marriage of Henry VIII to Ann Boleyn (1533). She didn’t die until 1562 and the book didn’t appear until 1641, so you can draw your own conclusions. ![]() The second thing to know is that the epic poem credited to her that makes most of the predictions about the future is an established fake. It appeared in 1862 in a new edition of the book of Mother Shipton’s predictions and the author of the fake was Charles Hindley, who confessed to his act 10 years later. He was the book’s editor. Yet many people still believe that Mother Shipton was the author of both the original book and the forged poem. OK, but the predictions made in the fake were still remarkable, or so it is claimed. They include women wearing trousers, the horseless carriage and submarines. It also predicts three world wars. The first women to wear trousers in Britain did so in the 1850s, as an early act of feminism. The word “bloomers” stems from then and was first used to describe a type of Turkish or Arabic style of pants worn by Emily Bloomer. They apparently scandalised Victorian Society. ![]() Predicting wars is always a safe bet. Britain has been involved in many of them, the most recent at the time having been the Crimean War (1853-56) but the Napoleonic Wars, which were in effect global as they affected overseas empires, only ended in 1815 – within living memory for some. One of the claims is that the poem predicted the submarine. No it didn’t. The first submarine had been tried out in 1690 and the first military submarine, the Turtle, had been tried out by the Americans in 1776. The publication of the fake was after the Great Exhibition, which had been held in Hyde Park in 1851. It was held inside a great glass building (the Crystal Palace), which was also “predicted” in the fake poem but, more importantly, the exhibition featured many of the innovations mentioned in the poem as well as stimulating discussion about rafts of new technology, some of which became a reality within that century or at the beginning of the 20th century. ![]() It is likely that the Great Exhibition galvanised research into new technology, enabling what would follow and it also allowed Hindley to create his “predictions” for Mother Shipton. So, Mother Shipton didn’t actually predict much (if anything) and Hindley didn’t predict much either. But he did have a bit of an imagination. Because it is imagination, not prediction, that stimulates innovation. The mathematics on which we build our science and engineering started out in Ancient Egypt, Babylon and Greece, with people like Archimedes, Pythagoras and Euclid. Once you have mastered the mathematics, turning an idea into a reality is all down to the availability of the technology. ![]() We are well aware of what ancient civilisations created using the technology of their day. They certainly understood a lot of about the mathematics of mechanical engineering. “Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it and I will move the world” is a quote attributed to Archimedes, who lived in the 3rd century BC. And one of the Seven Wonders of the ancient world were the pyramids, the building of which would have been impossible without a sound understanding of mathematics. Who knows how much further the ancients would have been able to get had they been able to unravel the mysteries of organic chemistry and electricity? The story goes that James Watt (1736-1819) was sitting in his kitchen watching his kettle come to the boil when he saw that the steam from the kettle had the power to raise the kettle’s lid. The idea came to him that if he could build a big enough kettle, he could make steam do much greater amounts of work. The idea was one of the great driving forces of the industrial revolution. All Watt needed was the technology to build his bigger kettle - and that was available in his day. So Watt isn’t described as a clairvoyant, he is described as an inventor and engineer. ![]() There we have it. Your “clairvoyant” or “seer”, is my inventor who lacked the technology to turn their idea into a reality. They couldn’t see into the future, but they could have ideas about ways their world could be changed or improved. In the late 19th century the vast majority of humanity couldn’t imagine humankind travelling to the Moon, but Jules Verne could. Others came behind him to turn his imagination into a reality and they may even have been inspired by his book to make the attempt. As Sir Isaac Newton said in 1865, when complimented on his developments in mathematics by Robert Hooke, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants”. And so it is with authors. Authors have an imagination. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be able to write their stories. ![]() It has been claimed that some authors have “predicted” the Covid-19 pandemic. No, they haven’t (“The Eyes Of Darkness” by Dean Koontz is one that is cited). Those authors have taken what they know about historical outbreaks of diseases and linked it to knowledge of modern scientific research into viruses and used that to create an imaginary pandemic. In fact Koontz’s virus doesn’t cause a pandemic, it causes a child to become psychic, but that isn’t explained by the people who cite the book as a “prediction”. The fact that any book uses a pandemic caused by a rogue virus that spreads quickly isn’t a prediction, it is a knowledge of history: a knowledge of the spread of the Black Death, of hantavirus, of yellow fever, typhoid, typhus, polio, cholera and, one of the biggest up until now, influenza. They didn’t even have to imagine the most common symptoms of Covid-19, because they could borrow most of those from Spanish Flu, Swine Flu and Bird Flu, the latter two both being caused by the SARS virus, of which Covid-19 is also a strain. Add the words “biological warfare” and/or “rogue government” to the mix, exaggerate the severity of the illness and you have a good sci-fi plot in the making. As for most other sci-fi, some of what was “predicted” has happened. ![]() The communicators used in the first series of Star Trek are no more than our modern mobile phones. And no, they weren’t a prediction. Research had already started into portable telecommunications systems small enough to fit into a pocket. It just took a few more years for the technology to arrive that turned the research into a reality and the technology came out of projects that were already running – the American and Russian space programmes. And those programmes came out of the Second World War secret weapons developed by the Nazis. Modern super computers came out of the work of the code breakers at Bletchley Park in World War II and they borrowed heavily from the work of Charles Babbage (1791 – 1871) and other pioneers. So, have you had a great idea for something that we could do with around here but don’t presently have because of a lack of technology? Write it into the plot of a book and you could be hailed as a clairvoyant. While someone else will take your idea and start on the hard work of developing the technology to make it happen. Some things we still aren’t so sure about, of course. Faster than light travel, for example, which we would need for deep space exploration, is not thought to be possible. But several writers have predicted it (including me). But first we’ve got to get past all that messy e=mc squared stuff. If you have enjoyed this blog and/or found it informative, be sure not to miss any future posts by signing up for our newsletter. Just click the button below. We promise not to spam you and you can unsubscribe at any time. ![]() Here at Selfishgenie Publishing we use social media as a marketing tool. If you read our series of blogs on the subject (still available in the archive) you will see that it is cheap and quite effective if used well. However, there is a darker side to social media marketing and people are falling for it every day. Actually, there are two dark sides. The first is dark, the second is very dark. The plain dark is the way social media is used to capture your personal data, which is then sold to third parties so they can bombard you with advertising. We’re not talking about the usual clicking of the “agree” button for terms and conditions. That is just the way that social media sites make money by letting you use their platforms for free. If you don’t agree, you can’t use the platform. Seemples. ![]() No, we mean the way memes are used to capture data. You may think it’s just a fun question for you to answer, but it isn’t. It is aimed at grabbing a little snippet of personal data from you that will be of use to someone in targeting their adverts. Not only that, but you even give them the address to which they can send the advert. I’ll give you an example. One meme that appears quite regularly is “Name something from your childhood that young people today wouldn’t understand.” Sounds harmless, doesn’t it? Just a bit of fun. But your answer puts you firmly into a specific age bracket. That tiny scrap of data can then be used to target you for adverts aimed at your age group. If you happen to be our age, it might be stairlifts, funeral plans or walk-in bathtubs. ![]() And how do they get your address? It’s your social media username, which shows up every time you reply to one of these posts. That gives them access to your profile as well, which probably provides them with even more personal data. It also tells the person that posted the meme something else about you. It tells them you were gullible enough to respond to the meme. And if you were gullible enough to do that, you may be gullible enough to fall for an advert for a substandard, or even non-existent, product. ![]() Other age-related questions are based around subjects such as music (a song or band name can give away the decade when you were a teenager), films, books, TV shows, the car in which you learnt to drive etc. So, what is the “very dark” side of these memes. It relates to cybercrime. It’s the questions that are aimed at trying to get hold of your passwords so that your accounts can be hacked. You may think I mean your bank accounts, Paypal etc, but I don’t. I mean your social media accounts, because many of these are used as the basis for scams of one sort or another. "You may think that none of your friends would be stupid enough to fall for a scam" ![]() If I can make myself appear to be you, by posting on one of your social media accounts, then your friends may trust what has been posted. It also allows me to access the list of all your social media friends, which I can sell. You may think that none of your friends would be stupid enough to fall for a scam, but hundreds of thousands of people across the world, good, honest and above all intelligent people, have fallen for these scams. It only needs one of your hundreds of social media friends to fall victim for the scammer to win. So those sorts of posts will ask you about your first car, your first pet, your first school and a whole lot of similar things because those are the sorts of things that are used as passwords or as the answers to security questions. These also include you “pornstar” or “stripper” names, or even your secret agent name. eg “The last thing you ate and the name of your first pet is your secret agent name.” You wouldn’t tell someone your account number and password for your bank account, but you are happy to tell them the name of your first pet – which is almost as revealing. There are other ways of getting the account number and password, you’re just making things a bit easier for them when they try to hack your account, by providing the answers to the security questions or memorable information ![]() So, other than the age-related memes, what others should you be on the lookout for? The most obvious ones are worded like this. “You are about to be attacked by a zombie. The last thing you bought is the weapon you must use to fight it. What will you use?” That’s quite an easy one to identify, because it relates directly to products. If you bought the thing you are going to use against this hypothetical zombie, then you’re likely to buy more of the same. How about this one. “It’s your best friend’s birthday today. The nearest thing to your right hand is what you will be giving them as a birthday present. What will they get?” Again, this is product related, because whatever you answer can then be used to target you for similar products. If you say “a plate of biscuits”, then you’ll be targeted for biscuit advertising (or, more likely, sweet things in general). You may also become a target for advertising for plus sized clothing or dieting aids. ![]() An answer related to smoking products may result in you being targeted for nicotine replacement therapies, books on how to stop smoking or drugs to help you stop smoking (which may or may not work and may even be harmful to your health). OK, how about something a little bit different. “The last place you visited is where you will spend your honeymoon. Where will you go?” Whatever your answer, you will be targeted for advertising for similar destinations, cheap airline seats, hotels, etc. Now, if you don’t mind being targeted for advertising, then there’s nothing wrong with any of this. But if you’d rather spend your social media time actually socialising, rather than scrolling through adverts, you might do well to avoid responding to those memes. ![]() You may think that your “advertising preferences”, which you have carefully selected on your favourite social media sites, will protect you against these adverts. You would be wrong. These simply tell the site’s owners (Facebook, Twitter, Insta et al) who they can direct adverts for certain products towards in order to maximise the number of clicks for the advertisers. They won’t prevent you from seeing advertising from other sources that are paying those same sites to “boost” a post or whatever term the site uses. Believe it or not, there is no way that you can actually prevent advertising from appearing on your social media pages. All you can do is tell the sites which products you’re not too unhappy seeing. You’ll see all the others anyway because they’re paying the social media site to blast the adverts out to anyone who has an account. But giving away your little bits of data allows those “blast it out” type of advertisers to refine their audience by targeting you personally, by age, gender, interests, purchasing habits, cultural tastes etc ![]() And, when you ask yourself “How did they know that about me?”, the answer will be “Because you told them.” Many of the products will be genuine but remember what we said about targeting the gullible. That’s how scams work, because they’ll try to get your money by selling products they have no intention of ever delivering. How do you know they actually own that holiday cottage or Spanish villa they are offering to rent you? They will also try to sell you products which may not conform to safety standards. You have no idea where the sellers of the products may be based, so you have no way of finding out if they are reputable. There are ways of countering this form of data snatching and that is to tell lies. If the data that is captured is inaccurate it becomes useless, because the advertiser is directing their adverts towards people who won’t buy their product or service (whether it’s real or a fake). That means they are wasting their money and will have to find some other way of identifying their target audience. They will find that way, of course, but there’s no need for you to collaborate with them in their search. “Does this tell somebody something about me that they didn’t, or couldn’t, otherwise know?” ![]() There is one thing we can all do when we read these memes. It is to ask ourselves one simple question: “Does this tell somebody something about me that they didn’t, or couldn’t, otherwise know?” If the answer is yes, you are making an informed choice about whether or not to post your answer. You don’t have to. It isn’t compulsory. And if you choose not to answer, you will reduce the amount of advertising (real or scam) that appears on your social media feeds. For the darker forms of data capture, the ones that are aimed at finding out the answers to security questions, then the questions is much simpler. “If I answer this question, could it compromise the security of any of my accounts?” Again, telling lies in answer to the questions makes the information useless and it will frustrate the scammers, which is actually a result for us good guys. One thing of which we can be sure is that the people who post these memes aren’t acting in your best interests. If they were, they wouldn’t be hiding behind fake user IDs and asking seemingly innocent questions in order to grab your personal data. It’s up to you whether you co-operate with them, but we recommend you don’t. If you have enjoyed reading this blog, or found it informative, why not make sure you don't miss future editions by signing up for our newsletter. We promise not to spam you, or to sell your data to scammers. Just click on the button below. All book reviews posted on the Selfishgenie Publishing blog page are the opinions of the reviewers, not those of the Selfishgenie management. Help! My Tech Is Killing Me ![]() I am something of a fan of Nick Spalding’s books. They are easy to read and easy to put down if you have to do something else. I don’t think that anyone will ever accuse Nick of writing great literature, but that doesn’t mean that his books aren’t enjoyable. In fact, it’s because they are enjoyable that I read them. Nick Spalding uses everyday life as his inspiration. His plots are centred on things that the reader can relate to and may have experienced. Not all of them, of course. I’ve never renovated a ramshackle old farmhouse, which was the subject of “Bricking It”, but that didn’t stop me from enjoying it. “Logging Off” takes a look at the way some people use the internet, to the point where it becomes detrimental to their health and mental wellbeing. ![]() Andy Bellows is a graphic designer who is somewhat internet obsessed. He has an app for everything, including going to the toilet. I don’t know if such an app exists, perhaps someone might like to tell me if it does. Not that I would ever use it. Anyway, Andy’s obsession with his apps is causing him physical ill health and some of his physical symptoms are evidence of his poor mental health, induced by his internet behaviour. On the advice of his doctor, Andy decides to undergo a “digital detox”, which requires him to give up all internet usage except for that essential to his work: no social media, no on-line shopping, no recording of his sleep patterns or his bowel movements and definitely no Googling of his medical symptoms. He can’t even use his apps to check the TV schedules. ![]() He packs his iPad, his games console and his phone into a box and hides it away. Why he should give up his phone I found a bit puzzling. A phone is an essential tool and all Andy really had to do in order to conduct his detox was uninstall his apps. But at the same time, not having a phone becomes a plot point later on in the book, so even if it wasn’t necessary from a practical point of view, it was for the narrative. Andy’s best (and possibly only) friend Fergus, a local newspaper editor, decides that what Andy needs to do to make sure he sticks with his detox, is to announce it to the world – in Fergus’s newspaper, of course. This sets the scene for a lot of anxiety for Andy later on, but I don’t want to give away too much, so I won’t tell you how. But I can tell you that because of the newspaper article, for the first time in living memory Andy makes contact with a woman (two women actually) with romance in mind without the aid of digital match making. The outcome of at least one of those meetings is entirely predictable, so that isn’t a spoiler. The other is a little bit more bizarre, but I’ll let you find out how for yourself. Being a Nick Spalding book there are misadventures aplenty, many of which Andy blames on his lack of technology but which I would blame on Andy himself, but I won’t go into those. But I’ll never look at a duck the same way again. ![]() The book is evenly paced with regular highs and lows. It is amusing rather than funny but, like many of Nick Spalding’s books, it left me thinking about the content and what it might mean for me. Is that stiff neck I suffer due to the amount of time I spend ‘on-line’ each day? Maybe it is. Maybe I need to think about doing a digital detox. Or maybe it’s just the power of suggestion. Why only 4 stars? Really its because it isn’t absolutely the best book I’ve read so far this year. It isn’t even the best Nick Spalding book I’ve read this year. But it is enjoyable and I do recommend it. If you manage to get a holiday this year, it is the ideal fare for reading beside the swimming pool. I would recommend reading it on your phone or iPad, just so you can enjoy the irony. To find out more about “Logging Off” by Nick Spalding, just click the cover image at the top of the page. If you want to read more book reviews like this, just click the button below to sign up to receive the Selfishgenie Publishing newsletter. We promise not to bombard you with spam. ![]() Science fiction and fantasy – are they really the same thing, but just with a bit of a twist? Let’s take a look at the differences – and the similarities. Both of them often feature worlds that don’t exist in reality, at least, not so far as we know. Both of them usually feature “magic”. In sci-fi they call this magic “technology”, but if it doesn’t actually exist then it might as well be magic. Both of them use strange creatures as part of the plot. In fantasy those creatures are elves, orcs etc and in sci-fi they’re alien beings or mutated viruses, but they are both the result of imagination, not reality. ![]() If you read our submission guidelines you will find that we don’t encourage authors to submit fantasy novels, but we’re happy enough with sci-fi. Given what we have said above, why would we not accept both – or neither? The author of this blog has read Lord Of The Rings (LOTR) three times and The Hobbit twice, so why does he have a downer on other works in the fantasy genre? It’s because so many authors of the fantasy genre write in clichés, or they are lazy. ![]() Let’s take the clichés first. Orcs, elves, wizards, dragons, magic rings or swords. Does any of that sound familiar? About the only thing that’s original in so many fantasy novels are the names that are given to the main characters and, I have to say, even those have a very familiar ring to them most of the time. So, what about that accusation of laziness? Most of it is to do with the way magic is used in the books. Is the hero stuck at the bottom of a deep pit? Magic him out of it. Is the hero just about to be barbequed by a dragon? Magic him out of there. In fact, any peril that the hero finds him/herself in is fixed by the use of magic. And if it isn't magic, it's other special powers such as being able to see events far away or see into the future. ![]() And that removes the drama. Once you know the author is going to save the hero’s life every time, using magic, there’s nothing to worry about. All tension is removed and the story becomes about as exciting as watching paint dry. The lazy author, therefore uses magic rather than trying to imagine some other way of allowing their hero to survive – or going back to re-write the plot in a way that no longer relies on magic to get the hero out of their fix. Ah, but LOTR uses magic. Gandalf’s a wizard and he uses magic a lot. And as for that ring – it’s total magic. Therefore, Selfishgenie Publishing, your argument is defeated. ![]() Yes, but think about how magic is used in LOTR. First of all, it is used very sparingly. If the problem can be solved using swords or guile, then swords or guile are used. Magic is always the weapon of last resort. But, more importantly, whenever magic is used, there is a price to pay. When Gandalf uses magic to fight the Balrog, it so exhausts him that he disappears from the book for a couple of hundred pages. When the ring is used to provide invisibility, not only does it place a great burden on the wearer, but it affects their personality. That is made very clear in The Hobbit, where we encounter its long-term user Gollum and at the start of LOTR with the way Bilbo reacts to having to give up the ring. ![]() The ring also points a big fat finger at the wearer so that the Dark Lord can locate them. So, the ring and its powers have to be used sparingly. It is Frodo’s and Sam’s perseverance that gets them to Mount Doom in the end, not magic. It is about Frodo’s personal qualities, about why he was chosen for the task in the first place because, despite all temptations, he is the only one of the Fellowship of the Ring that can be trusted not to try to keep it for himself. Of course, there are fantasy writers out there who avoid both the clichés and the over-use of magic and rely on their characters to carry the plot, but we have to say that bitter experience has shown that they aren’t the authors who are submitting to Selfishgenie Publishing. You can try to prove us wrong, if you want, but excuse us while we roll our eyes. ![]() So, what of sci-fi, surely it is just as full of cliches, yet we publish that. Substitute magic for non-existent tech and you have the same sorts of problems. Of course we do, guilty on both counts. Which is why we have just as much of a problem with poor sci-fi as we do with poor fantasy. However, some of the sci-fi authors we publish have actually tried to base their “magic” on basic scientific principles. ![]() Reputable scientists have theorised about the sort of technology that is used in their books and suggested that it might be possible to create that sort of technology sometime in the future. No less figures than Einstein, Steven Hawking, Erwin Schrodinger and others have speculated on what sort of advances in science might be made to allow the use of new technology in the future. Not only have they speculated, but serious research is now going on into some areas of science that were previously labelled “fictional”. OK, some of it may never produce any worthwhile results, but the research isn’t being done on a whim. There are some basic scientific principles underpinning it. ![]() And, of course, after the last 18 months, when it comes to killer mutant viruses we need say no more. And if you can have mutant viruses, you can surely also have mutant people. Now, please don’t get us wrong. We think that fantasy is a legitimate genre for any author to write in. The best fantasy sits alongside the best works of all the other genres. But, unfortunately, the sorts of authors who submit fantasy to us seem to lack the imagination to come up with anything original. And it is originality that sells books. Now, having read this far you may now be saying "That's just your opinion", and you will be right. But if you had to read the amount of cliched fantasy that we receive, you might share our opinion. If you have enjoyed this blog and want to make sure you don't miss future editions, plase sign up for our newsletter by clicking the button below. ![]() Have you submitted your book to agents or publishers and had it rejected? Have you ever asked yourself why your masterpiece was rejected? After all, you have read far worse books than yours, so why wasn’t your much better book accepted? Have you ever thought that it might be because you didn’t adhere to the submission guidelines? As publishers we receive a lot of submissions and one of the things that puzzles us the most is how someone who can write a 100,000 word novel can’t read a simple set of instructions. ![]() You may wonder why adhering to the submission guidelines is so important. After all, it has nothing to do with the quality of your work. Your masterpiece will still be a masterpiece, even if you didn’t double space it, as the submission guidelines asked you to. We’ll answer that in this blog. Our submission guidelines are published on our “Contacts” page of this website. They are longer than they are for some agents or publishers. That’s because we’re trying to be helpful, so we tell authors in advance why we might not accept their masterpiece. That gives them the opportunity to take a look at what they have written and decide what sort of a chance they have of being accepted if they submit their work to us. We may not actually be the right publisher for them, so why waste everyone’s time? ![]() But even if we are the right publisher, are they the right author? We have no way of knowing without setting them a little examination – but here’s the trick – we also provide the answers to the exam questions. And that makes it much harder for authors to fail. So why do so many authors send us into apoplectic fits of rage by not reading the answers? OK, I’m exaggerating for comic effect, but it is very frustrating when you open a submission and find, not the 10,000 words that were asked for in the guidelines, but the whole (expletive deleted) manuscript. And it's double line spaced when we asked for something else. I have actually emailed an author and asked him why he didn’t read our guidelines. He replied to say that he did read them. So I then asked him why, having read the guidelines, he had decided to ignore them. He replied that he didn’t think we were serious and they were just to discourage authors from making submissions. Yes, that’s right, we spend hours making things up just so we don’t have to read submissions. That’s how we stay in business, by not having any new material to publish. (sarcasm). ![]() I didn’t use the word “examination” above by accident, by the way. So why did I use it? When you submit a book to an agent or publisher, it ceases to be “your book”. The act of submission turns your work into a collaborative project. Your name will still be the one on the cover of the book, but it won’t get to the bookshops without a lot of teamwork between you and the publisher. So, when you submit the book, the agent or publisher wants to know if you are the sort of person with whom it is going to be easy to collaborate. Trust us on this, but no author ever submits a book that is ready to go straight to press. They all require some degree of work to turn them from what they are into something that the readers will want to buy. The only difference between submissions by different authors is the amount of work needed to get from A to B. ![]() The greatest authors ever to put words onto paper have gone through this process before you, so don’t think you are some sort of special case or genius who can go straight from submission to publication without stopping to do a few re-writes along the way. That’s where the publisher has to start spending money – without knowing if they will ever get any of it back. A publisher will pay an editor to work with you to make your book the best it can be, and that editor will earn between £20k and £40k per year. Freelance editors start at around £25 per hour, charging up to £54 per hour if more specialist services are needed. (comparable rates apply in other countries). That may well be more money than you, the author, will receive in royalties. So, the publisher (and the agent who will try to find you a publisher) wants to know if you are going to work with that editor, or work against them. Is it worth them spending £5k to £10k of an editor’s wages working on your book with you if you are going to ignore everything the editor suggests? "If you can’t be bothered to read the submission guidelines, are you really going to read the editor’s notes?" ![]() Someone, I don’t know who, once said “You only get one chance to make a first impression.” Your submission is your only chance to make that first impression. What the agent or publisher sees when they open up your manuscript is when that first impression is made. If it is the right length and formatted the way the agent or publisher has requested it, they are going to start to think of the author in a positive way. If they asked for a synopsis but you didn’t provide one, then you probably didn’t read the guidelines, or you decided they didn’t apply to you. If they asked for a biography but you didn’t include one, they will wonder why you didn’t. If you haven’t done those things, the negative thoughts will start, which means the author’s work has to be so much better than the average before the agent or publisher starts to move across to having more positive thoughts. ![]() So, we have devised an additional test for our authors. We don’t insist that authors use our formatting guidelines, we just suggest that if they want to impress us, they should use them (item 6 if you decide to read them for yourself). If the author responds to our suggestions, they get off to a good start with us. If they just submit the MS formatted the way they wrote it, then the start isn’t going to be such a good one. So, for your own good, if you are going to submit your work to an agent or publisher, please read and follow the submission guidelines because first impressions count for so much. After that, your writing talent will do the talking for you. Don’t get me wrong. The agent or publisher won’t make a final decision based on whether you have used the right line spacing or the right font. If the story is good enough it could be written on a brown paper bag with a blunt crayon and it will still be accepted. But if you want the agent or publisher to be on your side from the moment they receive your submission, you have to do what is necessary to get them there, by following the submission guidelines. And if you think following submission guidelines is for losers – good luck with your career in pizza deliveries. If you have enjoyed this blog, or found it informative and you don't want to miss future editions, just click the button to sign up for our newsletter. |
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March 2025
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