A Life Well Lived.

Disclaimer: The views expressed by our guest blogger are not necessarily those of Selfishgenie Publishing. 

Given some of the subject matter, we have decided not to follow our usual practice of illustrating this blog, except for images that can already be found on this website.

I had better set a few expectations before I really get into this blog. First of all, I won’t be trying to justify myself in any way.

​Secondly, I realise that my life choices aren’t necessarily mainstream and I’m not, for one moment, suggesting that anyone else should follow my path.
 
Finally, I’m really only going to talk about my books and how they came to be written.
 
If you have already read my first book, “Naughty Girl”, then you will know my story. If you haven’t, then the potted version of it is: normal childhood, met a bloke, got let down by him, had to make a living in the ‘oldest profession’ (to use a euphemism) and then covid curtailed my ability to make money and so I wrote my book in order to try to make a few extra pounds.
 
Nothing remarkable there, apart from the way I made my living, but I’m very far from being the only person, male or female, to take that route. You would be surprised at how many ‘respectable’ people have done it. One of them may even be your next door neighbour and you wouldn’t know it unless (a) they told you, (b) your paths had crossed in a professional capacity or (c) there had been a scandal and their name was revealed.

---

 "If they didn’t exist, I would have died of starvation back in the 1970s."

​B is a particularly interesting reason for knowing. There is a lot of hypocrisy around and many of the people who engage me for my professional services may be your partner or neighbour, a relative or a friend and again you wouldn’t know it, for very much the same reasons. If they didn’t exist, I would have died of starvation back in the 1970s.
 
One in ten men say they have paid for sex. Those are the ones who admit it, therefore the real figure is probably far higher. For all you know, one of them may be the one you married or are in a relationship with. And we’re not just talking about sex with women, of course. And it isn’t just men; 1 in a 100 women have paid for sex too. OK, it is far fewer, but it is still a lot of women.
 
Statistically speaking, there is probably someone reading this blog right now thinking “I had better not let my spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend read this”.
 
So, I had better start answering some of the questions that get emailed to me (via my publisher) about my books, because that is what I’m supposed to be doing in this blog. Not questions about my profession, I hasten to add. The answers to those FAQs are in “Naughty Girl.”

"The next most frequent question is whether the stories I tell in Naughty Girl are true."

The most frequent question I get asked is if I’m a real person. The answer is yes, but I would say that even if I wasn’t because if I wasn’t, the person who created me would say that. So, believe me or don’t believe me, it makes no difference to me.
 
But I am really real. Arabella Aristo is a pen name, of course.
 
The next most frequent question is whether the stories I tell in Naughty Girl are true.
 
Yes, they are. In fact, those are the stories I considered to be believable. There are far more I could have written but decided they just wouldn’t be believed. It is one of the cases where the truth is stranger than fiction.
 
Question three in terms of popularity is whether I would ever consider naming names for cash. That one usually comes from people who want to make money from my revelations, whether by writing for the press or from blackmail.  The answer is a resounding NO. The one thing my clients have to know is that they can trust me to be discreet. I require the same from them, of course. I have no desire to have my photo splashed across the Sunday papers, upsetting my grandchildren.
 
Believe me when I say that the amounts of money offered are large enough to be tempting, but I have never given in to that temptation. Nor would I. I will take my secrets to my (environmentally friendly) grave.

"After four decades of my lifestyle, I felt that my story should be heard."

​Question 4 is about what motivated me to write my story in the first place. If you have read Naughty Girl then you will know that I’m not exactly poor. But I do have bills to pay, and savings don’t last forever. So, the income from my books keeps the wolf from the door without having to rob my piggy bank.
 
But it was more than that. After four decades of my lifestyle, I felt that my story should be heard. Some may take it as a warning to be careful about who they fall in love with. Others may take it as an object lesson regarding how important a good education is. Other people may read something else into it. That is the wonder of books – they mean different things to different people.

"Many women in my profession are well educated."

​All are true, of course. But my chosen partner was a good man when I met him. Circumstances changed that. Nobody can know how things will change when the circumstances change and most of my regrets are only the result of hindsight, because we don’t have crystal balls to give us foresight.
 
As for the education thing, I can tell you that many women in my profession are well educated. I know of some who paid for their education (and are free of student debt) because of the profession. Some of them discovered that the profession paid far better than the one they studied for. And some suffered shortfalls in cash flow (as I did) that forced them to choose between eating or having sex with strangers.

"There is a big difference between hypothetical hunger and the reality of not knowing where your next meal is coming from"

​And before any reader says “I would rather starve”, just wait until that is a realistic prospect before you leap to judgement because there is a big difference between hypothetical hunger and the reality of not knowing where your next meal is coming from.
 
But of course, those circumstances only cover my first book. What about books 2 and 3?

Book 2, “Stalker” was inspired because I have known ladies in my profession who have been in great danger in their lives.

Let’s face facts, it is no secret that there are predatory men out there and we working girls make an easy target. Peter Sutcliffe is proof of that, but we can go back to Jack the Ripper if you want to. I’m sure there have been others, but I can’t be bothered to do the research right now.
 
So, taking a few stories from friends and putting them together in a crime thriller seemed like a natural progression once the writing juices had started to flow. They say “write what you know” and I certainly know the sex trade.
 
That accounts for Book 3 as well.

​“Three In A Bed” is a collection of three short stories that, again, were inspired by stories from friends. Although not all the characters are “naughty girls”, their stories are based on real life events even if I have exaggerated the consequences.

---

Finally, I am always asked if I have any regrets about my choice of career.
 
Regrets would be the wrong word, I think. I would rather my husband’s business hadn’t gone bust and risked us losing our home. But those were circumstances beyond my control. It wasn’t a decision I had within my power to make, so I can’t regret it.
 
OK, do I regret marrying him?
 
No, not one bit, because before that he was the nicest, sweetest man. I loved him and I believe that he loved me. Circumstances changed him and they changed me too.
 
Would I have  rather had a “normal” job? Of course I would. But back then it was much harder to get one that paid a woman enough money to pay a mortgage. Even today I think many women with my educational background wouldn’t be able to make ends meet. In fact, I know a lot of women who are struggling in that way and are at their wits end.
 
So, I have no regrets about making the decisions I did. “Needs must when the Devil drives.” As the old saying goes.
 
Thank you for reading this and for not judging me (though you probably did).
 
To find out more about Arabella Aristo’s books, see our “Books” page.
 
If you have enjoyed this blog, or found it informative, then make sure you don’t miss future editions. Just click on the button below to sign up for our newsletter. We’ll even send you a free ebook for doing so.

---

newsletter